I took my mask to the bank with me today because I wanted to stay safe - safe from being refused service for not wearing a mask. I heard Wal-Mart has started making all customers wear them. Incidentally, if you're in there, please report any DVD's like Mike Myers's Austin Powers because its largely comprised of my blogs and music from 2007 and earlier. I gave no permission for Myers or Blue Rodeo to use my comedy and my music in their production. Bring this DVD up to the cashier if you see it and complain for me, please. Once was enough of having my eyes offended by that creep in that store.
Still I'm prospering, odd as it is for these times, though I guess it's easier to save money when they shut everything down and leave you no place to go but home or work. My job is secure, I think, since it's in the food industry. I find that it helps me to stay healthy, being able to exercise in my job. Some of the product is heavy and hard to reach, but I appreciate the struggle and know it's good for me.
I heard about the marches in Germany and I understand. Maybe I haven't been fair with the Germans in my blogs. None of them now had anything to do with World War 2. It's an entirely new and innocent generation today, but they have been culturally sensitized to tyranny by their disastrous history. I can see why they are suspicious. These super rich jet-setters come down with a mysterious flu, and then they say we all have to wear masks and shouldn't have normal sex anymore. It looks bad, all right, but the appearance could be even further from the truth. I think it's brave to protest, but I'll be playing along this time. I can't see why governments of the world would impose such punishing measures on us without good cause. Certainly they knew it would be unpopular, but they still found it necessary.
I learned my lesson when I stuck my neck out to protest the last war. You can't blame me for staying out of this debate. But I can offer some tips on how to cope with the crisis. For starters, even though some of these new restrictions may affect you intimately, you must not take it personally. Remember that the whole population is suffering along with you. To apply this to myself, it would be a mistake for me to take the sudden closure of all big venues as a deliberate move against my formerly stated goal of filling stadiums. I'm afraid I'm just not that important. And thinking like that would only make me angry as hell for nothing. There's a much happier way of looking at it, by considering how much harder it would have been on me had I chosen to be a star ten or twelve years ago. I would have ended up with a lot more to lose at this point. You see? So, even though my job is ordinary, I feel better off for it. That's how you turn it around, it's all in how you think.
By mutual agreement, we must wear masks whenever we unload a U.S. trailer, but I don't do much unloading. There are times I'm glad I have access to mask, like when I face a dusty clean-up at work, or when they're doing construction on the street. There's even a bright side to those.
I don't see my life changing much from social distancing either. I live alone anyway. And instead of letting the news media dictate my day, I try to live it for myself as much as I can. For example, the story of the week for me would have to be those crazy geese I encountered in that park. Is it normal for them to be so far from the water? A bunch of geese, grazing at my feet like buffaloes. What a sight! But they're destroying that lawn. I don't even want to walk over it anymore, and it was such a nice shortcut.
Star Copyright Offenders
|
|
Transgressor
|
Works Violated
|
Area
|
Period
|
|
AC/DC
|
Easy
|
music
|
2007
|
|
Bieber, Justin
|
Hit song about 'being a man' (my original recording lost)
|
music
|
2007
|
|
Blue Rodeo
|
Close Rendezvous, It Makes Me Wonder, Small Miracles (my original recording lost), Mischief, Redemption, Slings and Arrows, Close Rendezvous, 'The Creed' and other poems.
|
music, poetry
|
2007
|
|
Bush, George W.
|
Essay on U.S. Cultural Influence, other mini-essays from March-April 2004
|
opinion
|
2004
|
|
Beyonce
|
Under My Umbrella
|
music
|
2008-14
|
|
CNN program
|
Privileged Information (The Green Bay Hacker)
|
humor
|
2007
|
|
Carlin, George
|
See George Carlin's Plagiarism
|
personal prose
|
2006-08
|
|
Cohen, Leonard
|
Buck Henry
|
poetry
|
2007-14
|
|
Colbert Report, the
|
Clash of the Puritans, War in the Antarctic, other works
|
humor
|
2007-11
|
|
Coldplay
|
Fool, Canopy, Slings and Arrows
|
music
|
2007-10
|
|
Comedy Central Talk Shows
|
Disembodied cartoon frames and talk show segments, other works
|
humor
|
2007
|
|
Crystalids, the
|
All My Money,
Arise,
Assault,
Bonkers,
Busybody,
Careful,
Chair,
Cheer?,
Comfort?,
Control?,
Crybaby,
Doors of Love,
Easy,
Ectomorph,
Fantasies,
Foothead?,
Forgiveness,
Free,
Frenetic,
Godspeed,
Harmony,
Ho Ho and Ho,
Loose?,
Lucky Lech?,
Mambo Fever,
Mistaken?,
More Sold Out,
Morning Shorelines,
Natural,
Nonplussed?,
Outside,
Prone,
Rusty,
Satellite Sam,
Sense,
Selfish,
Size,
Smile,
Soliloquay,
Spoils,
Telepathy,
Therapy,
Thrown Stones,
Tunnel Vision,
Ugly,
Uneven,
Untoward,
Widen?,
other works
|
music
|
2007-10
|
|
Daily Show, the
|
Johnny Levelhead, the Lunar Dimension, FOX News Hates (videos stolen), Straight from the Belt, Ancient American History, Aunt Sally Doesn't Want You, Rules for Snuggling, other works
|
humor
|
2007-11
|
|
Dateline NBC
|
Accidentaly Blown, the Porcupine Girls, other works
|
humor, poetry, music
|
2007-13
|
|
Degeneres, Ellen
|
See Ellen
|
humor, poetry
|
2007-14
|
|
Eastwood, Clint
|
Killer Ending
|
humor
|
2007
|
|
Ellen
|
Sappho Asparagus, The Widower, the Holy Roller, Mid-Life Crisis (from 2007's hospital visit), Talking Nonchalant (2007's YouTube video), The Civil States?, The Bahn to Buchenwald, Fitness Craze, Girl Logic?, other works
|
humor, poetry
|
2007-14
|
|
'Eye Guy', the (and brother?)
|
Don't know their worthless names: see Saturday Night Live
|
humor, poetry
|
2007-18
|
|
Family Guy
|
War Story: Robot Robot Monster, War Story: Holy War, Insufferable Confession, Michaelangelo's Slip (currently offline), other works
|
humor
|
2007-13
|
|
Fey, Tina
|
See Saturday Night Live
|
humor, poetry
|
2004-13
|
|
Frum, David
|
Republican speeches made from my words
|
opinion
|
2004
|
|
Georgia Straight, the
|
Who Ripped Me Off, Quiz Time, other works
|
humor
|
1996
|
|
Groening, Matt
|
See the Simpsons
|
humor
|
2007-13
|
|
Hanks Tom
|
The Veteran
|
poetry
|
2007-13
|
|
Kimmel, Jimmy
|
Fred's Friendly Frauleins, the X-Ray Player, Get the Waistcoat, Mother Mayhem (video), other works
|
humor
|
2007-13
|
|
Late Night with Conan O'Brien
|
Portions of the Don't Steal Show, JFK conspiracy sketch, other works
|
humor
|
2007-13
|
|
Leno, Jay
|
See the Tonight Show
|
humor, poetry, music
|
2007-13
|
|
MacDonnel-Douglas
|
Bird of Prey
|
music
|
2007-2010
|
|
MacFarlane, Seth
|
See Family Guy
|
humor
|
2007-13
|
|
MAD Magazine
|
Austin Powers I.M.M., other cartoons in apparent support of Mike Myers Austin Powers fraud
|
humor
|
2007-16
|
|
MAD TV
|
Hip Moves, School of Deforming Arts, Tuesday Night Long, the Job, other works perhaps confused by me as SNL crimes, still other works
|
humor
|
2007-13
|
|
Madonna
|
Complicit with bad stars during 2008 Vancouver visit
|
music
|
2008
|
|
Maher, Bill
|
See Real Time
|
humor
|
2007-15
|
|
Miller, Dennis
|
Epilogue: Sneak Peek at My Unpublished Book
|
original theory
|
2007
|
|
Myers, Mike
|
Redemption (music), Orcastra (music), Seal of Doom, Austin Powers, see Saturday Night Live for others
|
humor, poetry, music
|
2004-13
|
|
Nickleback
|
Fool's Paradise, Just Like You (My reject), Nonchalant?
|
music
|
2007-14
|
|
Oasis
|
Fortune
|
music
|
2001-10
|
|
O'Donnell, Rosie
|
Narrative portions of war documentary, 'Shock and Awe'
|
intellectual property
|
2007-2018
|
|
O'Brien, Conan
|
See Late Night with
|
humor
|
2007-13
|
|
Pohler, Amy
|
See Saturday Night Live
|
humor, poetry
|
2007-13
|
|
Real Time
|
'sometimes wearing khaki', political and religious statements
|
personal prose
|
2007-15
|
|
Rolling Stones, the
|
Nothing but Ashes, Daylight Dilemma
|
music
|
2007-13
|
|
Saturday Night Live
|
(Sketches:)
Bait Bikes,
Bronson Harley: Portrait of a Badass,
Cosmic Christ, the,
Don't Destroy the Kitchen,
Idiot Stu-dent, the,
One Thin Grocer,
Shorn Testimony,
Thelma Addison's Confusion,
The Masked Coward,
Tyranny,
The Hennessy,
The Planet of the Grapes,
The Whoopin of Chet Turtleback,
The Racoon,
The Burning Sun,
Silent Night on the Western Front,
Patterns of Behaviour (Jane Know-it-all),
Chester Windmill Presents,
Economics Made Simple,
The Search for Blue November,
Ears Wide Open,
Bullscent Artificial Air Freshener,
Minstrel At Arms,
Blindsighted Justice,
The Flying Peacocks,
'The Rake' Oral Apparatus,
Orangatang Flavour Crystals,
The Girls of Nightcast,
Nightcast: September 22, 2012,
Pussy Willow,
Nightcast: September 15, 2012,
War Story: All's Fair in Love and War,
Nightcast: September 8, 2012,
It's Unibrow!,
It's Unibrow! (Episode Four: Blast in Space),
It's Unibrow! (Again),
Match Against Machine,
The Lost Fight,
Ahead of Their Time: Louis Bombardier,
Classic Flicks: Portrait of the Scientist...,
History's Mysteries: Nadia Stalin,
Meddlin' Mom,
Nurse Sheridan,
Classic Flicks: My Fair Hillbilly,
Pick-Me-Up Decaffeinated Coffee,
Mystery Movie: Turtleneck: The Vanishing Casino,
Monday Night at the Movies: The Pilferer,
'The Fishbowl' Smoker's Helmet,
'Whiff' Insect Repellant for Men,
The Lazar Razor,
'The Shot' Wall Syringe,
Metaphysical Fitness,
Vote for Willie,
'Void' Depressurizing Gum[?],
Bigger than the Host,
Jesus of Vancouver/Canadian Film Festival,
Professional Wisecracker,
Stark Raving Mad TV,
Running on Air,
Not Without My Money,
The Dealer (The Collector),
Man of His Dreams,
The Sling,
End Quote,
Episode 1/D.S. Show Pilot Sketch - Windox,
Episode 3/D.S. Show 1 - Securiguard Home Security,
Episode 4/D.S. Show 1 - Dynamo 5000 Air Gun,
Episode 5/D.S. Show 1 - Pottypants,
Episode 6/D.S. Show 1 - Soundproof Suicide Prevention,
Episode 7/D.S. Show 1 - Max-Mix Protein Powder,
Episode 8/D.S. Show 1 - Spellbound Spell Checker,
Episode 9/D.S. Show 1 - Gas-in-a-Stick Man Repellant,
Episode 10/D.S. Show 1 - Immobiline Paralyzing Cream,
Episode 11/D.S. Show 1 - Pro-Rate Reputation Salvation,
Episode 12/D.S. Show 1 - Angel of Stealth Kite,
Episode 13/D.S. Show 1 - Zit Zapper,
Episode 14/D.S. Show 1 - Equine Velvet Aftershave,
Episode 15/D.S. Show 1 - Work-Mate Brand Replicants,
Episode 16/D.S. Show 1 - Jizz Jar,
Episode 17/D.S. Show 1 - Breathe Easy,
Episode 18/D.S. Show 1 - Cart-in-a-Car,
Episode 19/D.S. Show 1 - The Rocket Self-Playing Guitar,
Episode 20/D.S. Show 1 - A-WEL Artists Weight Loss Plan[?],
Episode 21/D.S. Show 1 - Slobber Guard,
Siren Siren,
Atomic Self-Heating Soup,
Episode 22/D.S. Show 1 - Econoflush Food Recycler,
Episode 23/D.S. Show 1 - Vengisil Irritating Powder,
Episode 24/D.S. Show 1 - Primetime Polly,
Episode 25/D.S. Show 1 - The Mask,
Episode 26/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave - Suicide,
Episode 27/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave 2 - Protest,
Episode 28/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave 3 - Bad Venues,
Episode 29/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave 4 - Divine Punishment,
Episode 30/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave 5 - Pizza,
Episode 2/D.S. Show 2 - Bloodfist Interactive Video Game,
Episode 3/D.S. Show 2 - The Church of the Branch Sectarians,
Episode 4/D.S. Show 2 - Do-It-Yourself Lawyer[?],
Episode 5/D.S. Show 2 - The Hot Seat,
Episode 6/D.S. Show 2 - Yum Yum Sugar Sauce,
Episode 7/D.S. Show 2 - Tasty Pastry,
Episode 9/D.S. Show 2 - Shortcut Guide to Success,
Love or Money,
Top Stories 1,
Campfire Rock,
The Straight-Blanket,
Top Stories 2,
The Insomniac,
Gold Rush 2013,
Top Story,
The Driver,
The Dating Game,
The Greed Game,
Top Stories 4,
The Blame Game,
Update: War in the Bermuda Triangle,
Top Stories 5,
The Bermuda Triangle War,
Treachery!,
Concentration 'X',
Nightcast: March 18, 2013,
North American Rebel: Behind the Scenes,
The Assistant,
Nightcast: Top Stories (09-03-13),
The Job Lovers Club,
The Cutting Room,
Pestilence Anti-Pest Pellets,
The Vanity Mirrors,
Dead Reckoning,
Enemy Agent,
Celebrity Roundup,
Top Stories 6,
Top Stories 7,
The Red Menace,
The Monarch,
Flames of Compassion,
The Space Suit,
Life Shavers,
Around the Corner (Public Service Ad),
Don't Break the Kitchen,
The Convex Corrective Silkscreen Solution,
The Multi-Gadge,
Family Feudalism,
Henderson Mayfield: Hoot Snatcher,
Film School Preppie,
The Local Banter,
The Police Police,
Gentrification,
A Day in the Afterlife,
Jamie Jong: Outlaw Landlord,
Movie of the Week: Clarra Claptrap,
The Life of Martin, Word Inventor,
Loving Blindness,
Extreme Irony,
The Defector,
Safer Sex with Polly Foolscap,
Head Case Files/Jerome Adirondack,
Head Case Files/Little Brenda,
Head Case Files/Stephen's Snow, Stupid Snow,
Palumbo[?],
Thelma Addison's Confusion/More Stoned,
Balogne Bulletin/Aug 2,
Schoolyard Scope[?],
Slowpoke,
The Thousand Dollar Man,
Le Miscreant,
The Downsizer,
Balogne Bulletin/Sep 30,
High School Sacramental,
Balogne Bulletin/Nov 14,
Balogne Bulletin/Nov 21,
Balogne Bulletin/Nov 25,
Smile-Rite Face Mold,
Balogne Bulletin/Nov 28,
Wilde on Absinthe,
Bum Steer[?],
Balogne Bulletin/Dec 5,
Balogne Bulletin/Dec 12,
The Poisoning of Sir Guy Lombardy,
Balogne Bulletin/Dec 19,
Balogne Bulletin/Dec 30,
Balogne Bulletin/Jan 09/16,
Lord of the Fruit Flies,
Pretty Boy,
the Code Breakers of Stanley Park,
Slander!,
the Pathogena Hair Defense System,
Camp Jesus,
Madame Pompadu,
other works
(Poems:)
Charlotte Harlequin,
Entropy's Date,
False Prophet, the,
First Unholy Roman Emperor, the,
Iniquia,
Marnie Blarneystone,
Mistress Nemesis,
Puritan, the,
Queen Frig,
Redeemer, the,
Restless One, the,
Rosemary Jones,
The Vindictive,
The Octiverse,
other works
|
humor, poetry, music
|
2004-13
|
|
Seal
|
Bad News, Beguiled
|
music
|
2007-15
|
|
Shards, the
|
Virtue, Lifeless
|
music
|
2007-13
|
|
Simpsons, the
|
Its the Grand Pumpkin, Milhouse,
Cold Blooded Marriage, Lady in Waiting, The Herald (Part V - the Abbey), the Pay Toilet, Ghost in Space? - or was that Family Guy's theft?, Superficialman, plus offline works: 'Alaska Nebraska', and other works
|
humor
|
2007-13
|
|
Stewart, Jon
|
See the Daily Show
|
humor
|
2007-13
|
|
Swift, Taylor
|
Ooga Balooga, Spellbound, Careful, Respect, Dignity
|
music
|
2007-13
|
|
Telus Corporation
|
Friend in Need
|
music
|
2008-2010
|
|
Tonight Show, the
|
(Statements and Sketches:)
The Roachademy, the D.S. Show theme song, Sketched in Stone, Hazbrollah Is Love, Flying Legends, Dear Harry, Freaky Possibilities, Virtue (Shards fraudcast of my song), Groundbreakers of Aviation, D.S. Show 1: Ep. 8, D.S. Show 1: Ep. 15, D.S. Show 2: Ep. 3, Cave Art Epilogue, Tyke Force, Ancient Wisdom: Technology, All the Best Drivers, Domestic Life (currently offline), Lost Opportunity, Flimsy Barriers, Test of Patients, Money Talks, many other works
(Poems:)
Jackie the Pro, the Trail Blazer
|
humor, poetry, music
|
2007-2013
|
|
Vancouver Sun, the
|
Front page 'Sunshine Corner'
|
personal prose
|
2007
|
|
Yoakum, Dwight
|
Together Again
|
music
|
2007
|
|
|
No comments:
Post a Comment